Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
