This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
