Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
