she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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