I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Small penises have feelings too.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
