I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize