i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
