apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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