Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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