oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
