Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nicole vs. Life
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
