Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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