I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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