rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize