whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
