It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
