just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
