I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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