perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
