what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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