I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
