Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
