so explain again why im purple
no
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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