we need to drink 2009 down the drain
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
