Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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