big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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