I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
