how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
