Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
