They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
