I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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