I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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