he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
