D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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