the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
