i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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