i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
