I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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