My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
