my vag is so smooth its legendary
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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