I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
