my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
