i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
