idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
