i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
