addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
