We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
