I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dignity is for republicans.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
