where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
