No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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