so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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