Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
