I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
