I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
