The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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