fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
