all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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