i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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