I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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