remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
