Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize