I am in a vortex of obligation.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it because I queefed?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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