dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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