hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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