It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
