??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
